SINGAPORE: Five men and 157 women were arrested in a 23-day operation targeting online vice syndicates, the police said in a news release on Saturday (Aug 11).
The suspects, aged between 19 and 48, were nabbed at multiple locations including condominiums, hotels and homes in Geylang, Jalan Sultan, Cavenagh Road and Balestier Road, the police said. The raids ended on Tuesday and investigations are ongoing, the police added.
Items including laptops and mobile phones were seized as case exhibits.
Those who misuse their HDB flats may face a financial penalty or have their flats seized by authorities, the police said.
Tenants found to be involved in the misuse of flats will also not be allowed to rent an HDB flat for five years, the police added.
A total of 162 men and women arrested in 23-day anti-vice operation. (Photo: Singapore Police Force)
Flat owners who rent out their premises to persons for vice-related activities will also be prosecuted and may be fined for up to S$3,000, jailed for up to three years, or both, the police said. They may be fined for up to S$10,000, jailed for up to five years, or both, on subsequent convictions.
Those who aid in the prostitution of another person may be jailed for up to five years and fined for up to S$10,000. A man may also be caned on subsequent convictions, in addition to being jailed.
“HDB flats are meant for residential purposes, and the use of flats for vice activities is strictly prohibited,” said the police.
“HDB takes a serious view on the misuse of HDB flats and will not hesitate to take appropriate actions against flat owners who are found to be involved in the misuse.”
A total of 162 men and women arrested in 23-day anti-vice operation. (Photo: Singapore Police Force)
The police added that flat owners play “an important role in preventing vice in (the) heartlands”, and reminded them to conduct regular checks on their tenants to prevent vice activities from “proliferating in residential estates”.
The police also said that they would continue to work with information submitted from the public regarding vice activities.
SINGAPORE: If we had to point to one thing we are short of that is causing most of us to miss out on opportunities, most of us might think it is money – but that increasingly isn’t the case.
Contrary to popular belief, it’s also not motivation.
In this day and age where careers are prioritised and society moves at a fast pace, the one thing we’re lacking is time – it’s leading to most of us missing out on dinners with friends and families.
The lack of time is also making it hard for working adults to make new friends outside of their professional circles.
In fact, the National Population and Talent Division’s marriage and parenthood survey results released last year found 39 per cent of singles choose to focus on their careers or studies rather than to seek out dates, much less form new friendships. By placing priority on matters other than making friends, their social circles and existing friendships are shrinking.
Much has also been said about the difficulties in sustaining long-term friendships in modern day society. It’s so easy to get engrossed in technology, in social media and its bottomless feed and forget about those around us.
Can we still make meaningful connections in a competitive, technology-dominated world?
FRIEND FINDING
Compared to our parents’ generation, technology has changed the texture of human relationships.
Since the emergence of social apps, more are reaching out online as the primary way to expand their social circles.
File photo. (Photo: Pixabay / Rawpixel)
Singapore saw an increase in percentage of singles open to online dating from 19 per cent in 2012 to 43 per cent last year. While negative perceptions of friendship and dating apps will never fully go away, the long-term trend is that more individuals are connecting through online platforms.
This interaction however might be bursts of activity rather than the long-term sustained friendships. On social networking app Paktor, users send at least 60 messages per log-in – likely, multiple messages to several profiles at once and with multiple matches.
Perhaps convenience gives an illusion of choice. Some get complacent and believe if a friendship doesn’t work out, they can always move on to the next option and “ghost” the other party.
Maybe this is the reason why friendships form fast but people run a high risk of drifting apart just as quickly.
MAKING AND MAINTAINING CONNECTIONS
Some may argue that friendships formed in school or in the army create deeper connections and last longer. People who experience hard times together are said to forge stronger bonds.
One study, led by researcher Brock Bastian of the University of New South Wales in Australia, found that shared pain can produce bonding and cooperation. It also found that shared pain can increase a sense of solidarity, and boost cooperation among those who share these experiences.
While this may be true, it does not mean that it is impossible to create meaningful connections with the people you meet online – whether you’re trying to make a friend or trying to form a romantic relationship.
A study published in the MIT Technology review found that couples who met online had higher levels of compatibility. Another study published in the journal Sociological Science in 2017 found that couples who met online made a quicker transition to marriage compared to those who met offline.
One 2017 study found that couples who met online made a quicker transition to marriage compared to those who met offline. (Photo: Pixabay/ericaa1215)
The lesson isn’t that online dating will lead you to form meaningful friendships or find the one. But it is a way to meet others and try to see if there’s enough common ground for a long-term friendship, when time is not on your side.
JUST KEEP AT IT
For those trying to make new friends online, my own advice is to be clear of what you hope to achieve when you meet someone and to just keep at it.
It’s always nerve-wrecking meeting someone for the first time but what do you have to lose?
Think of it as meeting a friend’s friend for the first time. Get to know people, have polite conversations, and don’t put pressure on yourself.
The key to maintaining new friendships is to constantly communicate and make it a point to meet regularly. Showing that you are putting in effort highlights how keen you are in maintaining the friendship which will hopefully be met with reciprocity.
It sounds hard but if there is genuine chemistry and common interests, putting in the effort should come naturally. If it doesn’t, perhaps that also teaches you something about yourself, your interests and what matters to you in making a genuine connection with someone.
At the end of the day, forming long-lasting friendships or relationships isn’t rocket science. It is up to you to put in the effort into maintaining them.
Ng Jing Shen is chief executive officer of Paktor Group.
SINGAPORE: “$30, $33, $36,” he counted under his breath, thumbing through the wad of notes in his hand before cramming them into his waist pouch.
The passenger roll call was rudimentary at best – for a boat with a maximum capacity of 14, including two crew members.
Satisfied, Vincent Chew settled into his worn leather seat and gunned the engine, with the ease of a man who has done this his entire life.
But it’s only been seven years since Vincent took the helm. The former islander previously ran a provision shop on Pulau Ubin, and commuted weekly to the mainland to bring in his stock.
“It takes years before you will really know how to handle a boat,” he confessed, explaining that most of the 33 other Pulau Ubin boatmen have decades of experience under their belts.
Even so, he says the route is direct enough, come night or day.
“This line? Even with my eyes closed, I know the direction. When a big ship comes at night, we need to see where the red and green lights are to know how wide the ship is,” Vincent said, explaining that the lights are navigational aids required for visibility in the dark.
Vincent Chew started sailing only seven years ago after giving up running a provision store on the island. (Photo: Deborah Wong)
His boat, which is varnished in orange and grey, is distinct among the bobbing fleet at Changi Point Ferry Terminal, with a large fishing net slapped across the roof.
“Sometimes when we drive in the middle of the sea, we can see wild boars swimming. Other times you can see big fishes. So I keep a fishing net on my boat. But depends on whether you’re lucky or not,” he said.
As someone who grew up on the shores of Pulau Ubin, amongst fishermen and boatmen, sailing came naturally to Vincent, even though he entered the profession late.
Vincent Chew’s boat is immediately noticeable with its bright orange railings and large fishing net perched on the roof. (Photo: Deborah Wong)
But steering a boat takes more than keeping an eye out for choppy waves, it also means adapting to the elements.
“Just imagine, every day the tide is different. The wind is different, so when you want to come alongside a jetty, you must see how the current runs and where the wind blows. If you don’t know how to read the tide and the wind, big problem for you,” Vincent said.
Kit Kau Chye, 70, is a veteran who has plied the waters for over 50 years. He is now the chairman of the Changi Point Ferry Association.
The former islander has a wiry frame, and is quick on his feet, side-stepping over tangled mooring ropes to add his boat number to the growing row of digits on the makeshift board.
The boatmen here take turns to ferry passengers across to the island, and the list serves as a queue of sorts.
“Some come down as early as 4am, just to be first in line,” Mr Kit said, even though the passenger service officially starts at 6am.
Boat services to Pulau Ubin begin at 6am, but many boatmen come as early as 4am to be the first in line. (Photo: Deborah Wong)
He’s been sailing ever since he picked up the trade at 18.
“When the boat moves, we need to see how to park. Last time there was no proper structure, no teachers to guide us, we had to observe and learn by ourselves,” Mr Kit said.
“No choice, if you don’t have much of an education then you have to pick up a skill, a trade, to live by. Last time when we were young, we were quite carefree – we plucked fruits, climbed trees – and the older folk criticized us and told us to learn something to survive,” he chuckled.
Mr Kit had to commute daily to the mainland for classes.
“Those of us who grew up in the 40s and 50s on Pulau Ubin, attended a primary school on the island. But once we graduated, we had to take a boat to the mainland, before taking a bus to secondary school. For those who live further away, they need to wake up at 5am to cycle to the docks or walk,” he said.
Today, getting around the island is much faster, with a taxi service and bicycle rental shops at the entrance of the jetty.
Island taxi driver Azman Hamid is among a handful to own a Pulau Ubin-registered van. Vehicles registered for island use are identified by PU on the license plate.
“Last time when we started, there were around 17 vehicles, but now there’s only nine left. So we just rotate automatically. No need for queue numbers anymore,” Mr Azman said.
A round-island tour costs up to $35 an hour, while a short trip amounts to about $6. But the biggest payday for the drivers is when film productions take place on the island. The vans, Mr Azman revealed, would be booked on a long-term basis to ferry the crew to various locations.
With no car repair shops on the island, these drivers have to do everything themselves – until they hit a particularly bad bump on the road.
“If it’s something minor like changing the engine oil, we will do it ourselves. There is also a friend who can do help with it. But when it comes to major things such as the replacement of the air-conditioning system, we have to bring in a mechanic from the mainland,” he explained.
Bicycle shop owners like Koh Bee Choo echo the same sentiment.
“If any bicycles are defective, we repair them ourselves. When you stay here, you need to do everything yourself. The carpentry job, the mechanical job, those electrical problems, we need to know them all. We must know how to take care of the property and the land here,” she said.
Her shop is the first visitors see as they stroll towards the town square. Quirky signboards touting road safety are nailed into the wooden frames that prop up the shop’s exterior.
Ms Koh was born on Pulau Ubin, and counts among the remaining few who still live on the island.
“I moved to the mainland for a period. But the atmosphere is totally different. In the urban area, so many buildings are taller than the trees. On Pulau Ubin, the trees are taller than the houses,” she said.
“This has been my shop for the last 24 years, and my life for as long as I can remember. I know everyone here, so why should I leave?”
The population on the island peaked around 2,000 in the 1970s, but it has since dwindled to just over 30 today.
Yet the community continues to thrive, kept on their toes by some 300,000 visitors annually.
About 300,000 visitors explore Pulau Ubin every year, keeping the community on the island alive. (Photo: Deborah Wong)
“Life is good here, easy to earn money, not tough. When we have nothing to do, we will just chit chat. No need to be so stressed out working non-stop like you. We will walk around, rest and wait for our turn to drive the boat,” Mr Kit said.
His weather beaten hands are lined with callouses, from years of sailing.
But for islanders like him, it’s also a mark of a self-made person, and a promise – that no matter how the tides turn, their ties to the island will never fade.
SINGAPORE: Juggling work and motherhood, says Rahayu Mahzam, is one of the biggest challenges she faces. But it is clear that the Member of Parliament for Jurong GRC, who is a lawyer, also enjoys her new role as a mother to her 16-month-old son, Ayden.
As she cheerfully and animatedly recounts anecdotes of how she juggles her work commitments with her duties as a mother, she breaks into peals of laughter periodically as she recalls amusing stories.
There was once, she said, she had to leave for work early, and left Ayden, who is her only child, with her sister-in-law.
“So he takes a while to warm up, and he woke up to a stranger. And she sent me a picture of him, and the whole time, he was looking at her like that,” she recounted, demonstrating a suspicious, side-eyed look. “She bathed him, fed him, gave him his milk, and the whole time, he was looking at her like that.”
“When I came home, I was rewarded with a smack on my face,” she added, laughing.
She is quick to emphasise that the issues she faces as a working mother are common to many other parents. But her journey is slightly different: It is one which involves perhaps a little more fear and worry, and a host of additional medical appointments.
Mdm Rahayu had never hidden Ayden’s condition from friends and family.
But her speech, in which she spoke frankly about her personal experiences as a mother of a child with special needs and called for more to be done in the area of inclusive education, was the first time, she said, she was revealing Ayden’s condition on “such a public platform”.
“I wanted to talk about the issue because I was aware of some of the things that other parents were facing, but it wasn’t just about me,” she said. “And also, I was very conscious about labelling him, because he’s so young, and doesn’t have a say in how he’s put up.
“People might also see him a certain way after that.”
But despite her concerns, she went ahead with the speech, as she felt the points she was making were important, and would resonate with many other parents of children with special needs. Some, she said, reached out to her after she made the speech.
“The stories, feelings and emotions…I just wanted to send that message. And generally people appreciated that I captured that emotion.”
MP Rahayu Mahzam and her son Ayden in a photo from Oct 2017. (Photo courtesy of Rahayu Mahzam)
TERMINATION WAS NEVER AN OPTION
Doctors first raised the possibility that Ayden had Down Syndrome when Mdm Rahayu was about five months’ pregnant. The genetic condition, which is caused by the presence of an extra chromosome, can result in developmental delays.
“It was very scary, because it wasn’t just Down Syndrome,” she explained. “There was a whole range of other issues, and also a possibility that the child may not survive pregnancy and childbirth.
“And when I asked the doctors if there was anything I could do about it, or if there is any treatment for the condition, they said no, but there’s an option for termination.”
But termination, she stressed, had never crossed her mind.
“I’ve waited so long for a child, and I’ve grown up valuing life and knowing there’s always a reason why things happen … to me, it was just a challenge that I had to overcome,” she said.
She had spoken in a previous interview about how she and her husband were seeking treatment to conceive. And she added that having gone through a previous pregnancy which ended in a miscarriage made her even more cautious.
“I didn’t want to dwell on it too much, but that kind of added a layer of fear,” she said. “But it was that uncertainty and concern about not knowing, and not being able to see the child, and worrying that the child may not survive the pregnancy.
“I didn’t even buy baby things until much later, because I wasn’t even sure that the baby would grow,” she added.
Dealing with her own emotions was one thing, and she recalled that picking herself up and simply getting busy “without thinking so much about it” helped her work out her pain. But dealing with the emotions of her family members and loved ones was, she said, a whole different issue altogether.
“I needed to tell them so they could prepare themselves mentally, but I couldn’t handle their reactions,” she said, recounting a particular conversation she had with her mother.
“It was quite difficult when I was trying to tell her … okay, don’t get so excited because something might happen and I want you to be okay with it,” she said. “But at the same time, you’ve just got to keep praying and hope for the best.”
But ultimately, she is grateful for the support she got from her family members, who rallied around her and helped her out in ways big and small.
“My mum would do little things on a daily basis like cooking for me, buying me maternity pants and new clothes, and my sister also bought me a top so I could look decent on National Day,” she said.
“So it’s all these regular family things that may not matter so much, but it helps, because you’re just busy trying to get on with the days of your life.”
“I COULDN’T REALLY CELEBRATE BECAUSE HE WASN’T THERE”
She remembers it was a “sad feeling” when Ayden was born, because she could not be with him.
“The first day, I only saw him for a bit before they took him away to do tests,” she explained.
“When people were visiting, they would ask me where the baby was, and because he was in the special care nursery, nobody got to see him.
“I couldn’t really celebrate because he wasn’t there. So I focused on just getting better, so that I could walk and get out of bed and see him.”
She recalled an incident when she burst into tears upon receiving news that Ayden was to be moved to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).
“When I was walking to the NICU, I just burst,” she said. “I was crying and crying and I think I must have scared off other parents.”
“The nurses all kind of panicked, and brought me to a room, and they brought out all my doctors who were very kind and explained everything to me,” she said. “Thankfully, it was just that it didn’t look like he was breathing so well, so they had to bring him to NICU because the equipment was there.”
The first photo of Ayden released by MP Rahayu Mahzam. (Photo: Rahayu Mahzam/ Facebook)
FINDING SUPPORT FROM FAMILY, SPECIAL NEEDS COMMUNITY
It was about three weeks before Ayden could be brought home from the hospital. But there was another part of the challenge: The constant medical appointments Ayden had to go for.
Quipping that she was at KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital so often that she should get a “club membership”, Mdm Rahayu recalled being there almost “every other week”.
“It was so physically tiring, and there was work too,” she said, explaining that she started work again “fairly early”. She also started on her MP duties again, with Meet-the-People sessions coming in after a month, and market visits after two.
Things have gotten less hectic now, as Ayden’s schedule has settled into “some sort of regularity”. But she remains grateful for the family support that has continued even after she gave birth.
She considers herself fortunate to have a network of family members she can call on to help take care of Ayden when she and her husband have to work.
“Everyone was very zen about it,” she said. “I used to be worried before, but now I’m a bit more zen about it too, because I know that there are people who are just there for me.”
Support was also found from the special needs community.
It started small, from chatting with parents at Ayden’s sessions at the Down Syndrome Association, and she is now part of two informal WhatsApp groups for parents of children with Down Syndrome, which she says is a “repository of things”.
“Sometimes, I’m hearing stories from mothers, and commiserating, and other times, it’s practical advice, like what to do when a child has constipation, or how to find a pre-school that accepts my child,” she said. “It’s beeping constantly, but it’s really useful”.
Being plugged into the group – and the community – also came in useful when researching her speech in Parliament, as she was able to tap on the networks to meet different groups of parents to hear their stories and understand their concerns.
But she stressed that while her speech was a good starting point to raise awareness for the community, she is well aware that she has not “fully captured everything”.
“The spectrum is very diverse, and there are different levels of support for different groups and families,” she said. “But at least there’s the awareness now. So I need to keep track and follow through with some of the things I have pushed.”
Ayden’s first National Day on Aug 9, 2017. (Photo courtesy of Rahayu Mahzam)
ON ADVOCATING FOR THE SPECIAL NEEDS COMMUNITY
Mdm Rahayu recognises that her role as a Member of Parliament has placed her in a unique position to be a voice for issues close to her heart. Such as, for example, the special needs community.
But she is quick to brush aside comparisons to her fellow MP Denise Phua, who is well-known for being an advocate for the community.
“I definitely think I can help, but I cannot fill her shoes,” she said. “She is a legend in her own right, and she’s been around for years.”
“But clearly, I am already putting my hand up for things related to this sector, because I can appreciate it and I already have a conduit of feedback I can convey. So I guess that’s part of it.”
The title of advocate for the special needs community is, she added, a “big title that (she) feels too small to accept.”
“It’s not that I’m starting anything new, it’s more like helping to push things to a new level,” she said.
She added that there are also other issues she is already advocating for as an MP, such as multiracial harmony, families, youths, as well as the Malay language. “It’s not like I’m going to throw these away just because I have a new cause,” she said.
But she stressed that inclusive education – and a compassionate society – remains something that is close to her heart, and something she will continue to speak out about.
“We’re at a stage where we’ve kind of met Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and we need to layer that with the soft aspects,” she said. “By being inclusive and creating awareness, then the community becomes more conscious.”
“Look at how we did it with multiracialism,” she explained. “Where it is not an issue that your friend is from a different racial background.
“Same thing for people with special needs…where you really normalise it so you don’t see them because of their disability, but as someone who is part of your community.”
Today, despite the initial road bumps on her journey, it is clear that Mdm Rahayu is embracing the experience of being a mother.
“Of course I worry, but I’m embracing it,” she said. “I feel very fortunate and privileged to be given this honour to take care of him.”
“We’re doing our best to make sure Ayden is up to speed,” she added. “But I really hope people won’t make fun of him, dismiss him or take advantage of him.
“I hope the world will be a better place by the time he grows up.”
SINGAPORE: Jason Goh vividly remembers the one and only time his father watched him fight “live”.
“I won that one,” the 23-year-old said softly, with pride in his voice. “I fought and kicked until the opponent wasn’t able to stand,” he continued, with his arms miming some quick shadowboxing.
Due to work commitments, Goh’s parents – his father works in sales while his mother is a dim sum chef – are usually unable to attend his matches.
But this is not to say they have missed out on his development. Goh makes a meticulous effort to video all his bouts, so that his parents, along with his three brothers, can catch him in action, even when they cannot attend.
“Mentally, I feel stronger knowing they are behind me, even when they are not physically in the stands,” he told Channel NewsAsia. “They like to watch me, especially my youngest brother. He’s my biggest fan.”
In a few weeks’ time, Goh’s family will be able to watch him make history as the first Singaporean to compete in the sport of Sanda at the upcoming Asian Games in Indonesia.
A combat sport developed from traditional wushu techniques, Sanda involves the use of punching, kicking and throwing techniques, among others.
Athletes don protective headgear, mouth guards, gloves and chest protectors before fighting in furious, fast-paced bouts comprising of three two-minute rounds.
There is a one-minute break between rounds. Judges award points based on several criteria, and the competitor who wins two rounds becomes the overall winner.
Sanda, which comes under the broad umbrella of wushu, flies under the radar in Singapore when compared with other mainstream fight sports such as Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) or Muay Thai.
Jason Goh lifts a practice dummy in training. (Photo: Matthew Mohan)
There are about 1,000 Sanda exponents in Singapore, according to national coach Ng Boon Hock.
“Most of them practice in polytechnics, others in community clubs or gyms,” said Ng. “But their standards have to be raised much higher to reach the national team level – we have six in that squad.”
“When I tell others that I do Sanda, they will say is that MMA? Or Muay Thai? I usually tell them that its contact wushu,” Goh added.
EVERYBODY WAS KUNGFU FIGHTING
Weaned on old Bruce Lee films when he was in primary school, Goh grew up admiring the legendary kungfu fighter.
“It was very shiok to watch it, there was that adrenaline rush,” said Goh “I really liked his speed – the punches and kicks were very flexible and very fast. I would ask my father what sort of kungfu this was, and things like that. He told me it was Wing Chun but there is an actual combat component of wushu – Sanda. That sparked my interest.”
Goh’s father participated in the sport of Sanda during his younger days, but did not compete due to a heart problem.
His son would take more than ten years to follow in his footsteps.
“There were not many Sanda clubs in Singapore back then – only one or two,” said Goh. “I have three brothers who were all studying and so I felt that maybe we couldn’t afford it (if I went to train in a club). I wanted to wait till I started to earn money -that was in National Service (NS).”
Jason Goh participating in circuit training. (Photo: Matthew Mohan)
Goh took up kickboxing while serving his NS before switching disciplines when his coach invited him to participate in a Sanda tournament.
“The explosiveness and the speed of Sanda drew me to the sport. You have to go into moves quickly with a lot of force,” said Goh. “It’s actually similar to a chess game. You have a very short time to analyse your opponents. When I hit, I have to always anticipate the next move. You need to know when your opponent makes a move towards you, and how you are going to react next.”
While others might dread training sessions, Goh relishes them – even if they takes an additional toll on top of his full-time occupation as a fitness trainer with Certis Cisco.
He trains six times a week, on top of conducting physical training for staff as part of his day job.
“It’s a bit tiring but manageable, If I don’t train, I will feel I have like nothing to do and no outlet (to release my energy).”
SANDA FOR SINGAPORE
Given the physicality of the sport, Sanda is not without its risks.
Goh has suffered a shoulder separation in the past, and grapples with nerve issues on his other arm – which once resulted in him being unable to lift his hand when preparing for the World Wushu Championships in Kazan, Russia last year.
Jason Goh spars with his training partner. (Photo: Matthew Mohan)
These troubles are now behind him, he is quick to add, but Goh still could face the music back at home.
“My mum doesn’t like me to get hit. There was one time I came home from a competition with a black eye, then she looked at me and said that I was very lousy,” he added with a laugh. “She wants me to punch others, and I’d better not get punched.”
There is a quiet confidence about Goh, despite only picking up Sanda in 2015.
“He is a reserved guy,” explained Ng. “Jason often keeps to himself, but when he is up against an opponent you can really see his endurance and fighting spirit.”
Goh finished fifth in Kazan after being knocked out in the quarter-finals. The result was enough for him to meet the qualification mark set for the Asian Games, becoming the first Singaporean to feature in the event since Sanda was introduced to the tournament twenty years ago.
But making history doesn’t seem to stress Goh out either – the thought of being Singapore’s first ever Sanda athlete at the Asian Games did not even cross his mind, till it was raised prior to his interview with Channel NewsAsia.
“My goal is to do my best. I feel like every fight is a final and I plan to learn from every fight,” said Goh, who will be competing in the men’s 56kg category.
“There’s no need to stress, I trained hard and I know I’ll be okay.”
SINGAPORE: Parental fear begins from the moment you find out that you are going to have a child.
Will my baby be alright? What if I give birth prematurely? Will we have sufficient finances to give the child our best? The list goes on…
Then by some miracle the child grows up strong and healthy, and new fears emerge.
When I read the news about the HFMD virus that has been spreading like wildfire in Malaysia, I couldn’t help but worry. My second child contracted it when he was three, and it was one of the hardest seven days of his life.
When I see posters warning of terrorist attacks and public service messages telling us what to do in cases of molestation, I fear for the day when my kids will travel on public transport on their own.
But should we allow these fears to drive our behaviour?
Because of the potential threat of catching a virus, do I ban my kids from going near a playground?
We often tell our kids that they should face their fears bravely, and that it’s unproductive to worry unnecessarily, but are we taking our own pill of faith?
Academics is another huge area where children seem to be hapless victims of parental paranoia.
Led by an overwhelming fear that our offspring will be disadvantaged when “everyone else is doing it”, we enrol them in all manner of tuition even before they start Primary 1.
Students attending a mathematics class at a primary school. (File photo: TODAY)
For many of our children, tuition is a way of life, regardless of the stage of academic life.
Granted, that our children will be left behind or struggle later in life are very real concerns. These lead us to constantly wonder: “Am I doing enough?”
They may also lead to extreme measures such as having for tuition in all four subjects when the child is already coping well, just so they have something to occupy them while we are away.
But as parents, we have the responsibility to define what is enough, and not let societal expectations and our own fears lead the way.
We have a duty to build their sense of confidence to face an uncertain future. The onus is on us to put a dam against the flood of anxiety.
Anxiety is contagious. The more anxious we feel about our children’s grades and achievements, be it extra-curricular or academic, the more our children will feel it, and hold back from taking risks.
Are our fears feeding into a generation of anxious youths? And how do we expect them to rise up to challenges and adapt to change, if we cannot model the same courage and resilience we want to see in them?
File photo of primary school students. (Photo: MOE)
These attitudes can shape our everyday actions if we are not mindful. As a parent of three school-aged children, I sometimes catch myself doing things for them that they are fully capable of doing.
One example is clearing their plates after meals. My fingers instinctively find their way to their plates. I have to remind myself that I’m doing them a disservice by “helping”.
Many of us grew up in households where we were expected to help out at a tender age. I recall being allowed to head downstairs to grab bread or simple grocery items by the time I was in Primary 2.
Having to cross a carpark to the provision shop was never a major safety issue, and I probably developed a strong awareness of my surroundings on these occasions.
Serving in the home is a great way to instill responsibility and ownership. Yet why don’t we enlist their help more often?
I wonder if the strong emphasis on academics is a big factor here. There seems to be an underlying assumption that kids should just focus on their studies, and be excused from other “menial” tasks.
Where then will they get a chance to learn responsibility? And will they grow up with a warped belief that their sole purpose is to get good grades, get into a good school, and earn a good living?
Will they learn that life has no model answers or automatic route to success?
Two boys at a playground. (Photo: Unsplash/Hisu lee)
TAMING OUR FEARS AND INSTILLING CONFIDENCE
Giving in to our fears may cost us invaluable opportunities to build our children’s independence, responsibility and life skills.
Perhaps it is time to examine and confront them.
Weigh the consequences of taking a small risk, such as allowing your child to take public transport on their own for the first time.
And what is the worst that could happen if we roster our kids to dinner table or laundry duties?
For schoolwork, review the goals that you and your child have set. Before the upcoming semestral assessment (otherwise notoriously known as SA2), discuss the options that are available if they fall short or exceed those goals. If they show improvement in a subject that they have been getting tuition for, it may be time to drop some tuition classes, and find alternative uses for the time gained.
This way, they will start to see that they need not rely on any tuition teacher for the rest of their lives. They also gain a chance to grow their own resourcefulness and desire to learn.
Fear that leads to over-protection (or over-tuition) can stifle the growth of our children’s inner resilience and strength.
What we can do though is map out a plan to stare these challenges in the face.
As Singapore just celebrated her 53rd birthday, my hope is that we too will find our inner strength and resourcefulness as a society, and carry on that same grit and perseverance our nation’s pioneers exemplified.
Our children will find and carve their own pathways in life. All we need to do is to tame our fears and instill in them a belief that they can do it.
June Yong is a mother of three, an educational therapist and owner of Mama Wear Papa Shirt, a blog that discusses parenting and education in Singapore.
SINGAPORE: Thousands of sachets of chewing tobacco were found in a Malaysia-registered car at Woodlands Checkpoint on National Day, the Immigration and Checkpoints Authority (ICA) said in a Facebook post on Friday (Aug 10).
Officers detected 4,510 sachets hidden in various parts of the car – the back seat, rear bumper, skirting, spare tyre and side panels, ICA wrote.
The vehicle was driven by a 25-year-old Malaysian and the case has been referred to the Health Sciences Authority, ICA added.
Sachets of chewing tobacco were concealed in almost every part of the car. (Photo: Immigration & Checkpoints Authority)
“Our borders are our first line of defence in safeguarding Singapore’s security,” ICA said.
“The ICA will continue to conduct security checks on passengers and vehicles at the checkpoints to prevent attempts to smuggle in undesirable persons, drugs, weapons, explosives and other contrabands.”
SINGAPORE: To help consumers make the switch to digital TV (DTV), employees of Mediacorp and the Infocomm Media Development Authority (IMDA) got together to reach out to 1,000 households recently.
About 100 staff volunteers visited 1- and 2-room flats in Beach Road and Toa Payoh. They checked on the condition of the TV sets, as well as helped residents redeem the free DTV Starter Kits online.
The starter kits are offered to all HDB households that are still watching television on analogue, and who do not have a pay-TV subscription with either Singtel or StarHub.
Volunteers explaining the DTV Starter Kit to residents.
Among the volunteers were Mediacorp artistes Romeo Tan and He Ying Ying, who joined an on-site Mediacorp technical team as they installed DTV equipment for families.
Mediacorp said on Friday (Aug 10) that along with IMDA volunteers, it will conduct more house visits islandwide in the coming months.
An IMDA volunteer, Ms Chaveil Koh, said: “It was a very fulfilling experience, helping vulnerable households switch to DTV so they can continue to access free-to-air TV channels, which for many of them is their only source of news and entertainment.
“I was enriched by it and will be signing up to help more households.”
Mediacorp actress He Ying Ying with a resident.
“There are still families who remain unaware of digital TV, so I’m very happy to be part of this event and have the opportunity to help them,” said Mediacorp volunteer Caryn Loke.
Mediacorp and IMDA volunteers pose for a group photo.
Households can also visit IMDA’s DTV carnivals and mobile DTV service counters for assistance.
More information on how to make the switch to DTV is available at https://digitaltv.sg or 1800-388-4357.
THE premiere of highly anticipated romantic dramedy Crazy Rich Asians finally hit the red carpet this week in a glitzy celebration of the first Hollywood-produced movie to feature an all-Asian cast in a quarter century.
Directed by Jon M. Chu and scheduled for release in the US on Aug 15, the movie adaptation of Kevin Kwan’s best-selling novel of the same name has already achieved cult-like status for its dazzling depiction of the lives of Singapore’s uber-rich.
Set against the backdrop of ever-so-affluent Singapore, the plot revolves around American-born Chinese economics professor Rachel Chu, played by Constance Wu, who meets her boyfriend’s wealthy and tradition-bound family of Chinese descent.
Rachel discovers his family are real estate moguls and struggles to win their approval – particularly of his mother, played by Malaysia-born Michelle Yeoh, whose previous acting stints include roles in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” and “James Bond 007 – Tomorrow Never Dies”.
Other cast members include new faces include like New York rapper Awkwafina and British-Malaysian actor Henry Golding (Rachel’s beau in the movie), Gemma Chan, and Ken Jeong.
I was star-struck meeting Michelle Yeoh! All I wanted to do was chat with her, but we had to pose instead. Such an odd profession!
The film has been the subject of wide fascination and debate ever since Jon announced that production would begin in April 2017 in Singapore and Malaysia.
For the first time in 25 years, Hollywood is finally releasing a movie centred around an all-Asian cast with the last being the 1993 film Joy Luck Club directed by Wayne Wang.
Decades have gone by since the release of the critically-acclaimed Joy Luck Club, which chronicles the relationships of American-Chinese women and their mothers, and the drought has left many Asians in America eager to make another splash in Hollywood.
The release of Crazy Rich Asians also comes at a time when Hollywood is facing criticism for its whitewashing of Asian roles as it was accused of doing when Scarlett Johannsson was given the lead in Ghost in the Shell, which is based on a Japanese manga.
Conversely, the recent movie adaptation of Afrocentric comic hero “Black Panther” has been dubbed an insanely, unprecedentedly huge box office success after raking in US$235 million within the first four days of its release, earning its rank for having the biggest February opening ever.
With audience interest on diversity at its peak, Crazy Rich Asians could follow suit.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Crazy Rich Asians is tipped to rake US$20 million within the first five days of its release in the US.
If the prediction rings true, the movie would be one of the highest grossing romantic comedies in recent times.
Director Jon M. Chu poses at the premiere for “Crazy Rich Asians” in Los Angeles, California, U.S., August 7, 2018. Source: Reuters
Owing to the fairytale plot, the film has mainly generated interest among younger females, those familiar with tracking early access to the movie said.
And although the cast and plot revolve around Asians, book author Kwan expects the movie to be enjoyed by diverse audiences.
“It’s been way too long since we had an all-star Asian cast in a Hollywood studio movie, but at the same time, this movie is for everyone,” Kwan told Reuters during the premiere.
“My books are read around the world in 20 languages, and in the US, 80 percent of my readers are Texan, Oklahoman, Kansas – like, white people – and they love my books. So it’s a movie that everyone can enjoy and appreciate,” he said.
The movie also began trending on Google within hours of the premiere, generating at least 200,000 direct searches in the US alone, while many parts of Asia also saw similar numbers.
Criticisms
A movie like Crazy Rich Asians fulfils a growing appetite among Americans of Chinese descent and ethnic-Chinese Asians living in western countries who have eagerly awaited more representation in Hollywood.
But even before its official release, critics have blasted the apparent ethnocentrism of the cast who are all of Chinese background, thus lacking diversity in the Southeast Asian context. Some pointed out the token roles of other races like the sizable Malay and Indian ethnic groups viewed as marginalised communities in Singapore.
“At face value, the movie is a stepping-stone for more representation of Asians in Hollywood, signifying a milestone for diversity,” Singaporean Indian activist and writer Sangeetha Thanapal, said in a recent Op-ed.
“Except that neither this movie, nor the novel it is based on, are even representative of Singapore.”
At the end of the day, #CrazyRichAsians is a milestone for East Asian Americans hoping to see more representation in a Hollywood studio-released major film. That’s all. It just happens to be set in Singapore. It barely registers for Asians in Asia.
Brushing off the criticisms, however, Jon said it was not possible to represent all Asian communities in a single movie.
Instead, he insists that the Asians in the film were “layered” and “complicated” and not the token “computer guy” or “sex kitten”.
“All these things just help get people more information about who we are as a people and help differentiate that we’re not just one blob being Asian,” he said, as quoted by Reuters.
SINGAPORE: A Reserve List executive condominium site along Anchorvale Crescent was put up for sale by public tender on Friday (Aug 10), the Housing & Development Board said in a press release.
The 17,137-sq-m land parcel can yield a maximum of 550 units.
It was triggered for launch from the Reserve List of the Government Land Sales (GLS) Programme on Jul 25, after a developer committed to bid at least S$255 million.
Location plan of the land parcel at Anchorvale Crescent. (Image: HDB)
Land parcels on the Confirmed List of the GLS programme are put up for sale regardless of market interest, while those on the Reserve List are triggered for tender only if a developer commits to bid at a price acceptable to the land sale authorities.
The tender for Anchorvale EC site will close at 12pm on Sep 14, 2018.
