Eyeing a pelvic floor exercise tracker, but not ready to commit to the purchase?
Read also: The brands behind the scenes at the Oscars 2017
Just go back in time, become a promising actress, land a film role, score an Oscar nomination and reach out to the marketing company putting together a swag bag for this year’s nominees including, you guessed it, a pelvic exercise floor tracker.
Los Angeles-based marketing firm Distinctive Assets is not in any way affiliated with the Oscars – in fact, the Academy has sued to put a stop to this nonsense – and there’s no evidence that they’re actually distributed to nominees, but that hasn’t stopped them from publicizing it every year.
Read also: Singaporean up for 2 Oscars for La La Land
Items in the very unofficial Academy Awards gift bag for 2017 total about $100,000 (S$142,000) and are as over-the-top as ever. While this year’s bag includes a few big-ticket items – like a three-day stay at a private California mansion – we’re more interested in the stuff that’s actually useful. For example:
- A tube of ChapStick
- A personal CPR kit, because you really never know!
- A customised 64-count box of Crayola crayons
- Fancy foot cream
- Underarm patches that protect your shirts from sweat stains
- Multiple cases of apples, in case you really love pie
- Just a bunch of energy bars
- “A Bangarang handmade wooden box filled with 199 cards that have positive actions and quotes,” which surely serves some currently unidentifiable purpose
Read the full article here.
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