SINGAPORE: “It’s difficult to cope. At the start, I really couldn’t sleep,” said Kathy Ong’s mum Jacqueline Ng, describing the loss of her 19-year-old daughter after a taxi driver’s negligent actions caused her death.
“I feel that what is missing is all her laughter. When she was at home, she laughed a lot,” Jacqueline recalled. “We don’t know what we’re going to do moving forward, without her.”
Taxi driver Yap Kok Hua was sentenced to eight weeks’ jail and banned from driving for five years on Aug 2, but for Kathy’s family, it is a life sentence.
Her parents Jacqueline and Keith feel the pain of losing Kathy as strongly as the day she died on Apr 19 last year.
Kathy Ong was described by her friends as someone who loved life and who made deep connections with those around her. (Photo: Family)
She had been in a taxi with three friends, going from Clementi to the National University of Singapore (NUS), where they were studying.
Yap decided to make a discretionary right turn from Commonwealth Avenue West into Clementi Road despite seeing a car coming towards him.
The other driver Ng Li Ning – who has since been charged with dangerous driving – was going at a speed between 92kmh and 97kmh, a court heard, but Yap decided to try and clear the junction.
He did not, and the collision threw Kathy out of her seat. She suffered serious injuries, together with three others in the taxi. One of them suffered a brain injury, and the other was left in a vegetative state after the smash. All four were rushed to hospital.
Jacqueline said she vividly remembered the moment she received a call from Kathy’s friend.
Taxi driver Yap Kok Hua was jailed for eight weeks after the crash killed NUS undergraduate Kathy Ong. (Photo: Roads.sg/Facebook, Najeer Yusof/TODAY)
“We were told by her friend, who was staying at NUS Tembusu College (where Kathy was staying),” her mum explained.
“She called me at about 7.50pm to tell her they can’t reach her (Kathy) at all. They kept calling her hand phone, and someone picked up to say they’re the traffic police and that Kathy was involved in an accident and sent to NUH (National University Hospital).”
Hours later, Kathy died of her injuries.
During Yap’s trial, it was revealed that he had previously committed a string of serious traffic offences – including running red lights on three occasions. He had also been fined twice for careless driving and twice for speeding.
The judge and prosecution said it reflected his attitude to road safety and his unwillingness to comply with traffic laws.
READ: Taxi driver whose actions left teen dead, 3 seriously injured, had committed string of traffic offences
“I MISS HER LAUGHTER”
Two weeks after Yap was sentenced, Kathy’s family and friends shared their memories of her, paying tribute to an affectionate girl who would always take time out for loved ones.
“Every weekend I will fetch her from Tembusu, bring her home and then end of the day, we will do laundry together, fold her clothes … that’s when we spend time to talk and then, I will send her back,” Kathy’s dad Keith recalled.
Kathy Ong celebrating Christmas with her family. (Photo: Family)
“I’ve been doing this (since she started uni), and suddenly, now, the whole weekend (has) become so quiet and empty for us.
“You’re literally lost … before that, you’re looking whether to work hard, earn more money, provide better for the family. But it’s like, suddenly, with the loss of her, both of us are like ‘What are we working for? What are we slogging for?’”
Her mum added: “To me, she was not just a daughter. We would go shopping together, go for high tea together, drink coffee together, we shared clothes, shoes – so suddenly, it has become so meaningless.
“It’s difficult to cope. (At the start), I really couldn’t sleep. I can hear the doctor’s conversation to me, to tell me they can’t save my daughter.
“I can remember – word for word – I can exactly hear his voice, every night … it was really very tough for me.”
READ: Scrap discretionary right turns at all junctions soon, MPs urge
OUTSPOKEN AND WARM
As a young girl, Kathy was outspoken, warm and loving. The former Juying Primary, Nan Hua Secondary and Anglo-Chinese JC student was popular among her peers, drawing friends from different walks of life.
Kathy Ong playing the harp. (Photo: Family)
Growing up, she was a proficient musician – playing the piano, harp and guitar. Pitch perfect and with a keen musical ear, she could listen to a song and reproduce it.
But it wasn’t only music which drew people to her.
“‘Are you okay?’ That’s what she would always ask,” her secondary school friend Ming Qian said.
“She would always remember what’s the last thing you were worried about, and she would check back with you.”
Childhood friend and neighbour Eunice Liew had known Kathy since they were six years old. They went to the same schools growing up.
NUS undergraduate Kathy Ong. (Photo: Family)
“Kathy was a very affectionate person. Every time I (saw) her, she would get really excited,” Eunice explained.
“She would run to you and hug you. It happened every time – even if I saw her three times a week. She’s very bubbly, a people person and made a lot of friends everywhere she went.”
That caring nature was well known among her friends. For university mate Chloe Lim, it was the little things Kathy did for those around her, such as leaving food and notes for her friends in Tembusu College, or giving them hugs as a form of encouragement.
“She’s a very warm person. You could always look for her when you’re going through something difficult, and she would always comfort you,” Chloe recounted.
Kathy Ong celebrating her last birthday with her friends. (Photo: Family)
Those friendships extended beyond her personal circle to include her parents.
“Her friends would come over even when Kathy was not at home,” Jacqueline said with a smile.
“Sometimes, they’ll come over and stay and ask Kathy if she’s coming back for dinner.
“And she would ask, “Why am I invited to my own house for dinner?’”
Keith added: “We are a very open family. She would just jump onto the bed and squeeze between the two of us … and the three of us would just squeeze together in the bed.
“When we’re sleeping, she would just come up on top and squeeze between us – even when she’s in secondary school, JC.”
KEY PILLAR OF SUPPORT
Since Kathy’s death, her friends have become a key pillar of support for her parents.
“They are amazing. They are always with us, on weekends and holidays. Even weekday evenings, they will come,” Keith explained.
“There are a lot of people who we don’t know who showed us a lot of concern. Every now and then we will receive a hamper from (people we don’t know).”
Flowers left in memory of Kathy Ong, who died in a taxi crash on Apr 19, 2018. (Photo: Family)
Since Kathy’s death, special occasions – such as anniversaries, Christmas and birthdays – have been especially hard. Kathy, her parents’ only child, died on the anniversary of her baptism, an important date for her family.
“Every special day that will be painful for us, (her friends) will make sure we are well taken care of, like celebrate with us. They will come and spend time with us,” Jacqueline said.
“Like mother’s day, father’s day … we can feel a lot of people showering us with a lot of love.”
For the couple, the memory of Kathy is something they hold fast to. Every three or four times a week, they will spend evenings at St Teresa church, Kathy’s final resting place.
“It was the loving care she showed towards the both of us. Every time she saw us, it’s hugs – even after she went to university, every time she saw us, she (would) hug us,” Keith said.
His wife added: “When we went shopping, she would hold your hand, wrap herself around your arms.
Kathy Ong with her family. (Photo: Family)
“There was a period I fell ill, and was in and out of hospital. No matter what, she would bring her homework, no matter how tired she was, she would come and lie with me in bed, you know? That’s the part I feel most precious.”
Kathy’s death has hit her family friends hard. Hundreds came to say their final farewells at her funeral. As her mum recalled Kathy’s sensitive nature, a smile formed on her lips.
“I remember there was once, my husband said, ‘I wish we could own a bigger house’. She said, ‘Daddy, we don’t need a bigger house. We only need a home’.
“That was what Kathy was like.”
