SINGAPORE: As we count down to the start of a new academic term, there is a sense of heaviness in the air.
Kids are not looking forward to the daily grind of early mornings and homework. Adults feel it too, dreading the pre-dawn wakings and endless ferrying from school to tuition and enrichment centres.
For this last week of the holidays, most parents will be busy making logistical arrangements and purchases, from getting new uniforms or shoes to replace old ones, to ensuring the new textbooks are dug out and wrapped.
But it may be wise to use this time to meet some of your children’s less apparent, but no less essential needs.
It may actually help them to feel more prepared for the new term, and be less anxious over school and homework.
READ: What getting ready for school really means
REMINISCE, TO NURTURE A STRONG SENSE OF SELF
Before the kids start to whine about why the holidays have to end, make a list of the fun things you did together.
Many of us rush from project to project, and task to task, but it is good practice to slow down and let our minds return to the places of fond memories.
This simple act of reminiscing not only creates positive feelings triggered by happy memories, it also nurtures a strong sense of self in our young, and equips them with socio-emotional skills.
A child playing in a ball pit. (Photo: Elizabeth Khor)
According to Carol Westby, an expert on the role of play and stories in child development:
Children’s sense of self and early narratives emerge as they engage with their caregivers in reminiscing about shared experiences.
She asserts that reminiscing and the development of life stories help children develop a strong identity as well as emotional regulation and problem solving skills.
It only takes a few minutes to reminisce; pick a relaxed time for the whole family and use photos to jolt the memory and kickstart the conversation. Talk about the various people you met, what they did for you or vice versa, and the lessons learnt along the way.
You can also walk down memory lane yourself and share your own growing-up stories. Personal stories are a powerful way of passing down values and a sense of identity to the next generation, so if you’ve kept your old year books, albums, or medals, it’s time to dig them out!
If you have a favourite food from yesteryear, why not take the whole family on a spin and re-discover those food items from the past.
If time permits, embark on a family craft project together, such as a holiday scrapbook, using printed photos taken from your favourite overseas trips or local excursions.
We did one for our Melbourne holiday last year, and until this day, my children will pick it up from the bookshelf and talk about the fond memories.
June Yong suggest embarking on a family craft project together during the last week of school holidays. (Photo: Pixabay)
STRENGTHEN FAMILY BONDS
If you’ve never given much thought to creating family rituals, this is a good time to start.
Parenting author Rebecca Eanes describes: “Traditions give us a shared identity. They strengthen our bond as a family unit. They create structure, stability, a sense of familiarity and safety, all things that are important for children, particularly young children. Traditions help us to nourish one another.”
Family traditions are simple to do, but harder to upkeep as children grow older and have differing schedules. At the heart of it is a shared activity and space that draws everyone together from their individual preoccupations, and builds connections.
It could be an in-house movie and popcorn night this weekend or an inter-generational board games night where you rope in the young-at-heart grandparents. It could also involve an outdoor adventure such as a family camp-out at East Coast or Pasir Ris park.
You can even jazz up a very common family ritual: Telling bedtime stories. Instead of your child choosing a book and you reading it out loud, get everyone to act out a favourite story. Classics such as The Three Little Pigs and We’re Going On A Bear Hunt lend themselves well to dramatisation.
Or take a familiar story and create your family’s own unique ending. It’s a great way to get their creative juices flowing and help them learn that there is no one “correct” way to write a story.
SET LEARNING AND BEHAVIOURAL GOALS
Having a plan to tackle the academic work ahead can work wonders for a child who’s been struggling to complete her work on time.
My middle schooler has been feeling swamped with work since the year began. She also experiences some mental roadblocks when she encounters a Math question that is very different from what she’s used to.
During the recent parent-teacher conference, I asked her teacher for advice and she suggested letting her work on the usual problem sums, with an added twist. For example, I could throw in an additional variable or change the way the question is framed.
A child doing homework. (File photo: TODAY)
The aim of this exercise isn’t so much to throw her into the deep end; it’s to help expand her repertoire of knowledge, and increase her confidence in tackling a wide range of sums.
For her, as we wind down the summer holidays, I hope to spend time tackling some math sums together while keeping it fun and light-hearted.
She is a visual learner and loves to doodle, so who knows, I may even get her to draw cartoons on the math models to make them more animated and less of a drudgery.
As we enter the new term, we may set some fresh academic goals, such as, “We will work on three new math sums every week.”
I am also trying to build her journal writing skills. One related goal would be: “I will write two journal entries every week to mum, and mum will reply those entries with thoughts of her own.”
LEARNING NOT PERFORMING
Let’s not forget behavioural goals. For her, one area to work on is becoming more aware and in control of her stressed emotions when it comes to school work. Practising some coping strategies, such as pouring an ice-cold drink or standing by a snack on her desk, may help to keep her emotions in check and be more focused on her work.
Remember to set more learning goals than performance goals. The latter focuses heavily on results and grades, while the former emphasises learning, processes and work habits.
When it comes to making mistakes, the consequence is less dire for the learning-oriented goal than the performance goal. Such a process-oriented approach can help our children be less apprehensive about making mistakes, as they come to view them as part and parcel of learning.
Holidays are meant for rest, and for the restoration of weary bodies and minds. Whether it is reminiscing the good ol’ times, or creating a wacky tradition together, I hope you will make full use of this last leg of the June holidays. It will be time well spent – both for your child and for you.
June Yong is a mother of three, an educational therapist and owner of Mama Wear Papa Shirt, a blog that discusses parenting and education in Singapore.
