Father of abused toddler: 'I could not be the father he needed'

Father of Daniel, the toddler who died after being abused by his mother and her lover, blames himself for boy’s death

Today’s Hari Raya Puasa celebrations would have been his son’s fourth.

Mr Mohamad Nasser Abdul Gani was hoping it would be his first celebration with Mohamad Daniel, who was born while he was in prison.

He was also planning to buy his son new clothes and take him to visit their relatives together. But Mr Nasser, who turned 42 yesterday, will be celebrating neither his birthday nor Hari Raya this year.

With tears streaming down his face, he told The New Paper yesterday in Malay: “Daniel only had three Hari Rayas in his short life and I was not there to celebrate any with him.

“Now I never will.”

See also: Little Daniel’s caregiver says: ‘If she didn’t want him, she could have returned him to me’

Daniel died last November, a month short of his third birthday, after a horrific torture campaign by his mother, Zaidah, 41, and her boyfriend, Zaini Jumari, 46.

Mr Nasser was present in court yesterday when Zaidah was jailed for 11 years, and Zaini for 10 years with 12 strokes of the cane.

But he left the courtroom angry. He broke down more than seven times when he spoke to TNP.

“Yes, they get 10, 11 years. But the years will go by in the blink of an eye, and they will get back to their lives,” he said.

“Meanwhile, my son remains dead. It is not enough.”

Brother of man whose 2-year-old was abused by mum & boyfriend ‘wants to clear his name’

Click on thumbnail to view photos. Source: 

Manaf Al Ansari, The Straits Times

During the court proceedings, he fixed his gaze on his ex-wife, who turned to glance at him once before looking straight ahead again. He said: “All I could do was stare at her. If I could, I would have asked her, ‘Why? Why did she have to hurt my son like that?'”

The last time they spoke was in October 2012, two months before he started an 18-month jail term for drug-related offences.

She went to tell him she was pregnant with his son. Her next words shocked him.

“She told me: ‘You will never get to see him. Until the day I die, you and your family will never get to see him.’

“True enough, I never did,” said Mr Nasser, before breaking down again.

Mr Nasser said they had met through mutual friends in October 2011.

RUSHED MARRIAGE

They rushed into a relationship and a few weeks later, he took Zaidah home to seek his family’s approval to get married. But his hopes were dashed.

His brother, Mr Abdu Manaf Al Ansari, said: “My family, especially my father, rejected the idea of my brother marrying Zaidah because no one knew her background and her family.”

So the couple decided to get married in Batam, Indonesia, in early 2012.

Their union did not last long.

Mr Nasser said he caught Zaidah with another man – Zaini – in May that year and he divorced her soon after. A few months later, Mr Nasser starting serving his jail sentence.

Not a day has gone by without him regretting his actions, he said.

“I blame myself. If I could turn back time, I would stay away from drugs, then maybe Daniel would still be here.

“Instead, I was not there when he was born. I could not be the father he needed to protect him.”

The hope of meeting Daniel once he got out helped Mr Nasser survive prison, which he said was a dark time for him.

Again, his hopes were dashed. After his release, he spent a fruitless year searching for Zaidah and Daniel.

The next time he heard about Daniel was last November when the police called to tell him about Daniel’s death.

When asked why Zaidah would so viciously abuse the child she carried to full term, Mr Nasser paused before answering: “She was taking it out on my son. She was crazy and hit him out of anger.

“Maybe it was because I divorced her, I will never know. But he did not deserve to be hurt like that. He was a child. What did he know? What did he do wrong?”

After the case ended, Mr Nasser went up to Madam Masita Hussin, 51, who had taken care of Daniel for most of his life, to thank her.

He said: “At least my brother and I know that in his short life, Daniel was in the care of people who loved him.”

Losing the opportunity to be with his son has shattered him, Mr Nasser said.

“My birthday and Hari Raya… Nothing means anything to me any more because I have lost my son.”

This article was first published on July 6, 2016.
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